By: B Goode

When I read the news that MOE was considering to impose parking charges to teachers who drove to school, I was shocked!

I wasn’t shocked about the plan. Rather I was shocked to know that all these while teachers were enjoying free parking!

Shocked!

I thought that all government officers had to pay for parking in their places of work?

Apparently teachers have been exempted and they have been keeping quiet about it, sniggering in the corner at their less fortunate civil servant counterparts.

But I am sure they will take this in their strides. They are teachers afterall. They are supposed to impart the virtues of fairness, loyalty, respect for authorities and to hold their tongues even in the face of adversity.

Cannot use Hokkien expletives hor…

But what I am more interested to know is whether those in the higher echelon of the Ministry have to pay for their parking? The Ministers (yes they have two) for example.

I doubt so.

This anomaly happens throughout the government departments.

The higher up you are, the more chances of you not paying for your parking.

It is funny when you think that the higher up you are, the more reasons for you to pay for parking because you jolly well can afford it.

But nope. This is afterall, meritocracy.

If you want free parking, all you have to do is to study hard, work hard, gargle a few balls and work yourself up the corporate ladder.

The problem with meritocracy is that it breeds elitism. In fact, we can go as far as to say that at times, meritocracy is being used as an excuse for elitist policies.

The fact is, Singapore is an elitist country. No amount of Shanmuganism can deny this.

Take the case of Eunoia JC. If that is not elitist, I don’t know what is.

And what do you do after you’ve become an elite?

Institute paid parking for all except for yourself.

Because you are an an elite mah….

By: B Goode

Pop icon David Bowie is dead. And I am so bloody depressed that I am not in the mood to bitch about anything.

I grew up with his music. He was like the grand uncle of shock pop; the template from which Lady Gaga, Madonna and all those talentless, manufactured singers copied from.

The difference was that, he had class.

The reason why I am so depressed is perhaps due to the realisation that one part of my childhood is dead. And as time passes by, more will follow suit until I myself will be gone.

Death and taxes. The only things in life guaranteed to happen.

But I take solace in the fact that everybody will die. No amount of insurance, CPF, medishield, medilife, medipediplusplus can stop the angel of death from visiting you.

Including my ex-girlfriend who dumped me for a medical student just because he drove a swanky car owned by his father.

I saw her on facebook. She is fat now.

Bitch.

By: B Goode

That story about the SAF supposedly outsourcing the parachute riggers to PRC people is beyond ridiculous.

Singaporeans. Our lives are so boring that we just have to make a drama out of nothing.

It is like finding a wart in your ass and your doctor said that it was benign and there was nothing to worry about.

“But I don’t want a wart in my ass. I’M GONNA DIE!!”

Even when the SAF came out to clarify that the rigging was outsourced to Singapore’s own company, some people still refused to believe. What if, they asked, Singapore was to go to war with China? Those PRC riggers could sabo us.

Yeah right.

Look. If Singapore was at war with China, there would be plenty more things to worry about than nylon ropes. Cruise missiles for instance. With nuclear warheads.

Just look around us for goodness sake.

What if Singapore was to go to war with Bangladesh or India?

“OMG! There are going to be riots!!”

And what if we were to go to war with Indonesia or Philippines?

“OMG! Who’s gonna take care of my old parents and young children? I HAVE TO CLEAN MY OWN TOILETS!!”

Whether we like it or not, we have offered out ass to the world many, many years ago. It is called globalisation. And being a small country without any natural resources, we do not have a choice.

We are like an ugly, flat chested prostitute with nothing to offer except for a tight ass.

We should be lucky.

The world is so open now. Singapore is so open now that there is practically nothing insular anymore.

That smartphone you are using now. Ever wonder what is this `cloud’ you are always prompted with? It is a database.

So if you are using a China phone, that `cloud’ could jolly well be in the basement of the Chinese Military Intelligence Agency.

You know that nude photo of yours that you sent to your wife or girlfriend?

One Corporal Li Na couldn’t stop giggling.

So what are we going to do? Ban all China phones? How about Korean phones? iPhones? Japanese phones? Ban them all?

Of course not.

The fact of the matter is that, there are very little secrets left in this world. And in the case of Singapore, there is very little that we can insulate.

So what can we do?

Just bend over, grit our teeth and say :

“Thank you. Please come again”

By: B Goode

Now that the ISD is busy with the Bangla terrorists, I will take my chance to write about racial politics.

I am a keen admirer of Mdm Speaker Halimah Yacob, and a strong advocate for her to be the next President.

Why not? She has all the qualities to be the Head of State. She is likeable, charitable and hard working.

She is also a woman. And a Malay.

We have never had a woman President before. And only one Malay President back when Singapore gained independence.

Fifty years ago.

It is about time that we have a woman Malay President.

But there is however, a huge obstacle to prevent that from ever happening. The Elected Presidency scheme.

Singaporeans have the tendency to vote along racial lines. It is not that they are racist because racism requires something more than just voting someone from their own our race.

It is for this very reason that we have the GRCs. The GRCs are there to allow minority candidates to be carried into Parliament.

Unfortunately to be a president, you would have to stand on your own. And allow me to be direct because I have no time to beat around the bush. Not today.

Halimah Yacob stands no chance against someone like, Tan Cheng Bok. In fact, President Tony Tan almost lost to Tan Cheng Bok in the last Presidential election. And if you were to factor in race, Halimah Yacob will be a goner.

The Elected Presidency idea was mooted in order to protect the national savings from an irresponsible government. But as residents in Yishun will tell you, there are many ways to skin the cat. And so there are other ways to protect the reserves. Although an elected President may be able to do that, it prevents qualified people like Halimah Yacob from becoming one.

The Presidency should remain a largely ceremonial one. In should remain a symbol of what Singapore truly is; a multi-racial, multi-religious, harmonious and equal society as reflected in The Pledge.

There is no better person to encapsulate those ideals than Halimah Yacob.

#Halimahyacob4president

By: B Goode

Either PM Lee has been reading my blog or it is just a case of great men think alike.

Most probably it’s neither.

But in his Parliamentary speech, PM Lee outlined some changes he would like to see to the Singapore political system. Apart from the perfunctory proposals to tweak the GRC, NCMP and NMP schemes to ensure the continued perception of the existence of an opposition voice, the one that actually made some sense was the one about the Elected Presidency.

Especially the one about making sure that the minorities have a chance to be elected as President `periodically’, which in the case of the Malays, once every fifty years. Maybe.

How he is hoping to do this is to include elements of the GRC system into it. How this is going to be implemented remains to be seen because there is only one President unless he intends to have a Vice-president. Or perhaps having the whole Presidential Council standing for election and the president is elected from members of the winning team. Or maybe for the PM to be given the power to declare for a particular Presidential Election to be contested only by minorities.

Whatever it is, Mdm Speaker Halimah Yacob ada chance lah…

By: B Goode

I have written before about political trolls especially during the GE2015 and how they lost because they had believed in their own bullshit. They had believed in the hype of their own making.

They did things and spewed rubbish that only clowns would. And as the applause from the entertained crowd got louder, they became more emboldened and more clownish, sucking the limelight away from the more serious opposition parties.

The problem was that, not many people wanted clowns as their leaders. So they lost.

And now over the big blue yonder, a bigger troll has emerged. Donald Trump.

He is like the mother of all trolls; courting controversies from the most mundane of things because he loves the limelight. Not that he ever needs one. His hair alone is worth a million internet points.

And just like Singaporeans, when it comes to the crux of the matter, not many Americans would want a troll as their leader.

America did not become the most advanced and powerful nation by having fools and idiots as its citizens. They are realistic, pragmatic and intelligent albeit they do love being entertained. And that’s what Trump is. An entertainer extraordinaire.

Donald Trump will never be the President of The United States. He’ll be lucky to even win the Republican nomination regardless of what the polls say.

Because when Election day comes, his supporters, the trolls, will simply stay at home.

Because that’s what trolls do. They are not interested in politics. They are only interested in entertaining themselves and if that comes at the expense of politics, so be it.

By: B Goode

As I was walking one day back to my apartment (yeah right) along Orchard Road, I saw a very peculiar sight; a man walking with a white umbrella.

It was peculiar not because it was a man carrying the umbrella. Metrosexuals are everywhere nowadays. It was peculiar because it wasn’t raining, nor was it sunny. It was the type of weather where you’d just want to cuddle up with someone special. In my case, that would be my loyal partner of two years (don’t judge).

It was cloudy.

Cutting to the chase, I asked him why was he carrying an umbrella in such a glorious weather?

He looked at me as if scoffing me and simply pointed to the pavement.

“Birdshit!”

“A lot of birds here! If you didn’t use an umbrella, they’d shit on your head!” he said and walked away.

So I decided to spend the next 30 minutes or so to walk the stretch of Orchard Road. My loyal companion can wait.

And true enough, there were birdshits everywhere. All along Orchard Road.

On the pavements.

On the benches.

On the plants.

And they have learnt to beg even.

And I am sure some would have landed in the ice-cream sold by the mobile ice-cream vendor and in the foods served in the AL frescoes.

And mind you. This was during the rainy season where I’d think the shits would have been constantly washed by the rain. I dread to think how it would be like during the hot and dry months.

And apparently the NEA is not doing anything. The AVA is not doing anything. The government is not doing anything. Perhaps everyone is afraid to take action against the birds because they are afraid to antagonise the tree-hugging hippies who have infested our political system.

You know who they are.

Meanwhile, everyone’s attention is focused on the litterbugs at a concert whilst Orchard Road, once a proud landmark of Singapore, is slowly but surely turning into a shithole.

By: B Goode

Now that members to the Constitutional Commission which will review the Elected Presidency system have been named, I have a suggestion to make.

And it is a brilliant one. That’s the effect of having too many Mandarin oranges because Vitamin C can actually boost your brain power.

Bear in mind that the Commission, chaired by Chief Justice Sundaresh Menon, will look into three key aspects of the system; to keep the eligibility criteria for potential candidates up to date, to beef up the powers of the Council of Presidential Advisers, and to ensure minority candidates have a chance to be elected.

The solution is so simple that it can make anyone who comes out with the idea (me) seems like he is in a wheelchair, head flopped to one side and talking via a voice amplifier attached to his throat speaking about quantum physics.

Why not have the Council of Presidential Advisers be elected as a team instead of only the President? And the President will be chosen from amongst them by the team itself?

This is like killing two birds and a rabid stray dog with one stone.

I think this is only fair because the Prime Minister has his whole Cabinet, the MPs, grassroot leaders, government bureaucrats and his party machinery to support him on any policies that he makes.

The President on the other hand, only has to depend on just himself. His advisers don’t really count for much because they are selected by the Prime Minister.

With this suggestion, the Presidency will consist of not only the President, but the elected Council of Advisers which will get some boost as far as the aura of independence is concerned.

So let’s say they shall be five Advisers. Candidates would have to form a team of five (duh). Each member must meet the eligibility criteria set-out and they campaigned as a team.

And in order to ensure that minority candidates have a chance to be President, each team must have at least one member from the minority group.

Should they win the election, they will then meet and choose one from amongst them to represent them to give a toast or two should the Queen of England make a visit, to wit, to be the President.

Imagine this dream team of George Yeo, Gerald Ee, S Jayakumar, Halimah Yacob and one animal lover. What can possibly go wrong?

And of course they will choose Halimah Yacob to be the President because, its time.

Genius!

By: B Goode

As lovers all over the world got suckered by the business corporations to celebrate something that should be celebrated every single effing day, finding a reason to don that edible undies and to have sex on the balcony (I did that once and boy was it….. interesting), the FAS has been busy trying to fool Singaporeans into supporting the S (pronounced ass) League.

Call me cynical but the S-League is dead. Apart from the punters and bookies and a couple of hundreds die-hard supporters, nobody else is interested in the S-League. You don’t spend millions of dollars just to keep a few entertained, and a few more employed.

The FAS wants us to give the S-league a chance. The fact is, if a chance has been given for more than ten years, and it still doesn’t work, then you know that it’s a dead horse. There is no point to continue flogging.

And you know there is something wrong when they tried to flog Jermaine Pennant (who?) as if he is some sort of a football cult hero. Jermaine Pennant, for all intent and purposes, is a dead horse. Just because he plied his trade in the English League before doesn’t mean he is good. He is not. He is at best below average.

And don’t get me started on the Fandi brothers. Their father is a fantastic footballer. They unfortunately are not. Oh by the way. I wonder how’s their academic studies? One is fifteen if I recalled correctly.

What I am trying to say is that, if they needed players like Jermaine Pennant and the Fandi brothers to hype up a dead league, then they are teetering on committing false advertising.

Football is a tribal sport. You need tribalism for a football league to work. The rivalry between Manchester United and Liverpool for example, dates back to the war of the roses. Barcelona vs Real Madrid has a lot to do with Catalonia’s assertion of independence.

Tampines vs Woodlands? Oh my estate is cleaner than yours!

But if you didn’t have the tribal factor, people would still go to watch a local football match for the entertainment.

I went to one of their matches once. I was so bored that I almost fell asleep. The only reason why I didn’t was the pesky gnats that were flying around. It was that bad. I wished I had spent the money to watch batman instead.

So I say, let the S-League die a natural death, and channel the millions of government grants to other sports. The era of football as our national obsession is gone. No amount of embellishment and false advertising will make the stadiums full again.

By: B Goode

The worst thing you could do during Chinese New Year was to ask Singaporeans about death.

Sibei pantang.

I remember a friend’s son who worked in the Civil Defence. When he wanted to get married, he suggested using an SCDF ambulance as the bridal car because he thought it was cool. He almost got disowned.

In fact, asking kiasi Singaporeans whether they will die for anything is like asking whether Donald Trump’s hair is real.

We are a nation that has embodied kiasism and make it into a fine artform. We are simply afraid to die.

Pedantry aside (WTF is We Are Majulah? – asks the Mak Chik), if you asked me whether I’d die for Singapore, I’d say: `must die one meh?’

I’d work hard for Singapore. I’d be law abiding. I’d pay my taxes and the ERP and the COE and the CPF and promised not to kill the neighbourhood stray cats. Heck I’d even vote for the PAP.

But the moment I felt that my life was being threatened, I’d run. Why shouldn’t I?

Because I don’t have the confidence that my neighbours, and friends and colleagues and the politicians would stay and fight. If even Ministers’ children could have dual-citizenships, why should I be stupid to stay on? To protect the new citizens who wouldn’t have taken our passports if they had to serve NS, or who took our passports as a jumping stone to another country?

No thank you.

Even the Policemen during the Little India riots were afraid to die.

We have a government that for years have been preaching and practising pragmatism; dollars and cents politics at the expense of ideals. Hell to the Nature Reserve because building an MRT line through it is $2 billion cheaper.

Tell me again. What ideals am I supposed to fight for?

Democracy? Freedom? Money? What?

If those were the ideals, I could find them in some other countries.

For my family? Nah. They’ll be flying out with me.

So it is not about whether we will die for Singapore. It is about not having to make that decision at all.

If we have to make a choice, the choice will be obvious.

Nothing in Singapore, as it is now, is worth dying for.

By: B Goode

A few years back, a friend of mine from the US came for a visit. As we were walking towards Kuan Im temple, we chanced upon an ERP gantry.

“Ah, so that’s the world’s famous money making scam!” he quipped.

“What do you mean?” I asked. My Majulah was starting to boil over.

“Just look at the price per entry. Fifty cents. Fifty cents!” he exclaimed.

“You mean to say that owners of the most expensive cars in the world would be deterred by a mere fifty cents?” he asked.

My Majulah became Malulah.

And therein lay the bogusity (word!) of it all.

When the ERP was first implemented in 1998, its stated purpose was to ultimately do away with the COE scheme. Well, that didn’t happen.

Instead, the ERP, like cancer, has become malignant, spreading from only a few main roads into the City, to all roads into the city and now to even get OUT of the City, you will have to pay.

And with the proposed flying ERP, you will have to pay for the use of all roads. Isn’t that the reason for having road tax?

So what’s the reason for the ERP?

It certainly is not for regulating car ownership because that’s the purpose of the COE. In fact, the COE is more direct and efficient in this regard.

It is not for regulating road usage because…fifty cents!

It is not for helping to pay for the construction and maintenance of roads because we already have road tax.

And it is not for encouraging Singaporeans to use public transport. Looking at the state of Singapore’s over-crowded public transport system, one could argue that one of the reasons why people wanted to own a car was because they didn’t want to endure the travails of public transport.

Put it this way, if the ERP was done away with, would our roads get any worse?

So my American friend might be correct. The ERP is a scam for the government to fill its coffers in the name of a more efficient road system.

And knowing our government, when it comes to making money, they will do it even at the expense of people’s privacy.

I don’t own a car by the way. So there’s no way the government could know where I went in the middle of the night in search of err…cigarettes.

Malulah!

By: B. Goode

When restrictions were imposed on weekend alcohol consumption in Little India and Geylang, critics warned that the problem would just shift somewhere else. Supporters though argued that anywhere would be better than the two places and hoped that `anywhere’ would be somewhere ulu like Tuas.

In the beginning that was what happened. They went to the beaches and other far-flung places away from the heartlands to enjoy a drink or two to release some tension.

Lately however, they are beginning to gravitate towards Paya Lebar area. Paya Lebar has always been a magnate for foreign workers due to the preponderance of Indonesian maids and the budget hotels nearby. I am not crying foul. They are adults and as I said, they need to release some tension.

But there never seemed to be a prevalence of open-air drinking.

Until now.

If this is not stemmed, should something go wrong, it would be more explosive than the Little India riot.

Paya lebar is situated within Geylang Serai vicinity which traditionally has been a Malay area. I am not going to go into details as to why this might be a little sensitive. We can go all huggie-fuggie and go full-on North Korean propaganda style and say that Singapore is a peaceful country where people of all races truly live harmoniously ever after. We cried tears of blood when our Great Leader died. We draped the Island with millions of flags during our Independence Day. We dressed alike. Talked alike. We have similar hair-cut and heck! we even enjoyed picking up cardboards together whilst singing Count On Me Singapore.

Or we can get real and say that the reason why Singapore is peaceful and devoid of racial tension is because each of us understand and respect each other’s sensitivities.

The problem is that, although we are aware of each other’s sensitivities, the foreign workers don’t.

I doubt they know the history behind Geylang Serai or its cultural and historical significance.

Add to that mix is a little known fact about the foreign workers’ weekend shenanigans; their love-life.

In the past, the Bangladeshis would congregate in Paya Lebar for the Indonesian maids. That’s their how shall I say…mating ground.

The Indians, particularly those from the Northern state of Punjab, would congregate at Serangoon Road for a drink or two before proceeding to Orchard Road for the Filipino maids.

Again, I am not judging. Sex is a need. Not a privilege.

Now however, at least according to some Bangladeshis I have spoken to, the Indian workers are beginning to encroach on their traditional territory of Paya Lebar bringing with them their drinking habit.

Needless to say, there has been some sexual tension between these two nationalities. According to those I have spoken to from both sides of the divide, there have been fights between these two groups which largely have gone un-reported.

We could of course argue that the foreign workers too need an outlet to have fun and enjoyment. And that we should just let them be. That was what we said before the Little India riot and then what happened?

We must manage this situation carefully before it is too late. Perhaps a law should be enacted to prevent open-air drinking everywhere on weekends.

Too draconian? I don’t know to be honest. But one thing for sure, we have survived as a nation despite the odds simply because we have never taken anything for granted.

By: B Goode

Now that the Home Minister has clarified in parliament the circumstances leading to the unfortunate death of Benjamin Lim, who or what are we to blame now?

The ground maybe. For being too hard.

This blaming culture is not unique to us Singaporeans. It is a human attribute so much so that psychologists have included it into the stages of grief.

So Benjamin Lim died. The initial reaction was to blame the Police and the school. If the process was to be allowed to complete, ultimately there would come the realisation that the blame solely laid on Benjamin himself. He pushed himself off the parapet. Could anyone have prevented it? Perhaps. But the blame should not be on the ones who could.

Unfortunately, the blame game had gone way, way too far. It is one thing to blame the Police. It is another thing altogether to create a scenario to give the false impression that the Police was at fault. Which is what The Online Citizen is accused of.

And in this internet age where information and consequently lies and fabrications move at the speed of light, the subject of the blame will have to move just as fast in order to counter the allegations.

In the case of Benjamin Lim, despite the internet exploding with accusations of Police high-handedness, it took two Ministers some days later to give an explanation to Parliament. Why the need to wait for a Parliamentary sitting to calm the situation down?

Couldn’t the Police or the school or even the Ministers come out earlier to debunk the allegations and perhaps give a warning to the offending parties to stop publishing untruths?

Our government officials will have to realise that we are no longer living in the past when statements could be languidly vetted up the bureaucratic ladder before being released. They do not have the luxury of time anymore. Whether they like it or not, they have to be nimble and quick and responsive to the needs and pitfalls of this modern internet age.

By: B Goode

So someone dangled live mynah from his window to scare the bird after it defecated in his Yishun home.

The AVA was alerted and gave the man a warning.

You’d think that the case would just be filed under some of the quirky acts unique to Singapore. You know. Like if you were caught stealing, you might be let off if you also happened to be a drunkard. Or if you sued the government and lost, your court fees would be waived because…reasons.

But not in the bird abuse case. Singapore’s very own tree-hugging MP Louis Ng swooped down from his high-perch to express his disappointment at the AVA’s “light” response.

And he added that the incident might have “psychological repercussions for the bird.”

He said what?

I have to re-read that a few more times and each time with a cup of even stronger coffee to make sure that I read it right. The final time I read it, I was practically chewing on coffee beans.

I would like to ask our honourable Professor in bird psychology what sort of psychological problems would that be? Depression? Suicidal thoughts? Split-personality? Low self-esteem?

And if what he said was true, might I ask what the symptoms would be like? Would the bird be flying in circles quacking like a duck? Or would it attempt suicide by jumping from Marina Bay Sands? It being a bird, that would have been hilarious.

And what about those birds caged at Jurong Bird Park? Or the polar bear in the zoo that has never seen snow in its whole life? Or the dolphins in SEAquarium? Wouldn’t they too be suffering from psychosis?

Jokes aside, Louis Ng and his bird-brained psychology are symptomatic of all that is wrong with the animal lover movement in Singapore. They simply couldn’t comprehend that not all animals are alike. Not all animals should be protected at all costs.

Take the case of the mynah for example. It is not native to Singapore. It originated from India. It is to be considered as an introduced pest. In fact in Australia, this species is destroyed on sight because it creates havoc to the natural fauna and flora. They are considered as rats with wings.

But not here in Singapore. Louis Ng and his tree-hugging friends love them so much that these birds are allowed to even feed from your plates in hawker centres, to roost on trees and shit on your cars, and apparently to also enter your house and defecate in it.

Try eliminating those damn pests and Louis Ng will accuse you of causing mental anguish to his beloved feathered friends.

But most importantly I would like to ask this very pertinent question.

What is Louis Ng’s job scope as an MP? Is it to take care of the well-being of the animals or to look after the welfare of his constituents who voted for him?

If say I’ve got a problem with birds roosting on my window sill and I went to him to complain, I wouldn’t be surprised if he advised me to move out so that his feathered friends could roost undisturbed.

And please don’t tell him that I had roasted pigeons last night.

Yummy!!

By: B Goode

MP David Ong was presumably caught with his pants down. I said presumably because… never mind I am not going there.

So in the fine tradition of Singapore politicians being required to wear chastity belts, David Ong resigned.

The problem is not that he was having an extramarital affair. But because he was caught (LOL!). Had he not been caught, he would have continued to be a fine, hardworking MP; something that he was voted for in the first place.

Why are we so hung-up on insisting that our politicians must be sexually….unadventurous? We are talking about Singapore here. A country that legalises brothels and prostitutes, and is internationally famous for the four floors of whores. We are by any standard of morality, not angels. We are in fact, only humans.

And yet we demand that our politicians keep their dingles and coochies under tampered-proof zippers. There is nothing criminal about affairs between two consenting adults. At least not in Singapore.  In Saudi Arabia maybe. Even then the King is allowed to hide a harem.

Affairs are at most, morally reprehensible. And depending on which God you believed in, you might go to hell. But then again, not many politicians would end up in heaven.

Already there is a dearth of people wanting to join politics. And now we are limiting them to nuns, priests, imams, angels, saints and Josephine Teos?

Who are we trying to kid? In a country where sex is so easily available, and where sex between two consenting adults is not illegal, we are practically scrapping the barrel.

We are making good capable humans and mortals scared of joining politics. Scared of getting caught. In this day and age, we should seriously reconsider what we want from our politicians.

In the case of David Ong, did his extramarital affair affect his performance as an MP? If anything, I would think that it would make him more energised. At least I would.

And it should be a matter for him and his family to settle. We should not judge him based on our own faulty moral compass.

David Ong should not feel compelled to resign.

As the saying goes:

If everyone is perfect, there is no need for heaven and hell.

By: B Goode

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory – Gandhi

By ancestry, I was born to rule – Mandela

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.- Churchill

I quit Jurong Hospital because I didn’t like the name – Dr Tan Cheng Bok

Dr Tan Cheng Bok must have thought that he had stolen the march by announcing his intention to contest the presidential election some sixteen months in advance. Unfortunately his thunder was stolen by the scandal of the year.

Oh well.

His purpose is questionable. Firstly, it is not that he is a rookie to the political scene. So he doesn’t need the time to get bedded in so to speak.

Secondly, unlike the US Presidential election, there are no preliminaries.

So to me, it is nothing more than a political strategy. And it is a clever ploy albeit a flawed one; and that is to pre-empt what’s coming from the Elected Presidency Review (EPR).

The EPR committee have yet to make their recommendations. Meaning, `the rules of the game’ have yet to be determined. So for Dr Tan to throw his hat into the ring prematurely is akin to someone gate-crashing a party without knowing what the dress code is. And what would he do if he was stopped at the velvet rope because he was not properly attired?

I’d suspect Dr Tan would cry foul.

“You’ve changed the dress code to formal simply because you saw me coming in tee-shirt and jeans!”

“Now please change it to casual so I could get in.”

Millennials are said to have an unwarranted sense of self-entitlement. But Dr Tan is 75.

Personally, I’d love to see him contest the Presidential Election and win.

Just to see how he’d try to change the name of Farrer Park to something else. Because you know, I doubt Mr Farrer paid for the park.

By: B Goode

Whoever that decided to ban Ridhuan Tee from entering Singapore should be applauded.

We don’t need a Trump wannabe in this country and by banning him we have made our statement very clear. If you didn’t like Singapore to such an extent that you had once proposed going to war over a rock (Pedra Branca), then you deserved to be banned.

Ridhuan Tee is a Malaysian University lecturer. He is famous not because of his intellect. I mean being a lecturer in an un-ranked University…..

He is famous because he is also a TV personality mostly hosting Islamic programmes on Malaysian TV. He is a Chinese Muslim convert. There is nothing wrong in that per se.

But apparently he seems to think that being a Muslim also equates to being a Malay so much so that he has been called `more-Malay-than-a- Malay’. Again there is nothing wrong with that per se.

But in trying to portray himself as such, he was known to spew inflammatory remarks against non-Malays and non-Muslims. For a person who was also barred from entering Sarawak, you could imagine how despicable he is.

And he sees Singapore as a bastion for infidels in the region and set his incendiary remarks towards this country.

Anyway, he was barred from entering Singapore about two months ago. Nobody would have known about the incident if he himself didn’t tell the world. But he did and decided to go all bonkers about it accusing the Singapore authorities of treating him like a terrorist.

How the hell would he know how a terrorist would be treated?

He was asked to return to Malaysia after about two hours of interview.

Now, that would not be how we treat a terrorist would we?

So yeah. Kudos for banning him.

By: B Goode

First of all, my condolence to the family of the two victims.

Now for me to put on my tin-foil hat.

I’ll start off with an observation. It might seem petty at first but it might also be a clue as to why the accident happened.

If you chanced upon any MRT station, take a look at the ATMs there. You might find some with flat tops.

Petty? Maybe. But I know for certain that according to their safety and security protocol, all ATMs must have sloping tops. This is to prevent anyone from hiding incendiary or bombs on top of the machines.

And yet apparently, nobody bothered to ensure that this rule is imposed and implemented. Nobody bothered to check.

And now back to the accident. As at the time of writing, the latest update from SMRT was that the accident was probably caused by certain procedure not being followed. If this was true, and taking into consideration the fact about the ATMs with flat tops, something was not right with regard to SMRT’s attitude towards making sure that processes and procedures were being strictly followed.

Do they actually have a department that look into this? If they do, then obviously it is not doing a good job.

Or is the LTA not doing its supervisory role?

In any case, two lives have been unnecessarily lost. As the authorities look for clues and causes for the accident, they should also look at the real reason behind the unfortunate incident.

Somebody has been sleeping on the job.

By: B Goode

1. Don’t Talk Rubbish

And by that I meant your usual diatribes. Remember that you are contesting a by-election. Even if you won, you’d not make a difference to national politics. So stop harping on the airy-fairy high-polity issues such as dictatorship, democracy or lack of it, checks and balances and whatevernots. Your voters will not understand. They are from Bukit Batok. Not Bukit Timah. No offence to people in Bukit Batok. I have a lot of friends in Bukit Batok. That’s why I know these things.

2. Talk About Rubbish

Again remember. You are contesting to be a highly-paid estate manager aka a town councilor. So you might want to talk about estate management, cleanliness, rubbish collection etc. Can you do a better job than the PAP? Can you do it cheaper? Can you employ Singaporeans? Can you rid Bukit Batok of the cardboard aunties and uncles by offering them jobs? I bet you can’t but there’s no harm bluffing trying.

3. Distance yourself from the troll sites

As the last GE had shown, Singaporeans by and large didn’t take trolls seriously. They take them as jokes. Their endorsement is a sure death-knell to your ambition. In fact, it might already be too late. You are now practically their mascot.

4. Soften Your Looks

This is nothing personal but you have a very dislikeable face. Someone whose face many would love to punch. Maybe it is the baggage that you are carrying. People still cannot forget how you treated uncle Chiam. Singaporeans love their uncles and aunties. But all is not lost. Change your spectacles to something nerdish. Thick, black rim will do the job. When was the last time you heard of someone punching a nerd? Never.

And grow a beard. If you can.

Good Luck! You can thank me later.

By: B Goode

You know there’s something wrong when islamophobia is a word but not christianophobia or buddhistophobia or judanophobia. Type all those four words in MSword and you will see which of the words have red underline.

And you know what’s worse? When even that word is being wrongly-used.

When you are afraid of something, you will avoid that thing. For example, if you have botanophobia, you will stay away from bushes. You don’t go beating around the bush like what I am doing now. Similarly, if you have islamophobia, you will avoid anything associated with Islam. You don’t go around beating Madrasah’s students.

And it is not only ‘islamophobia’ that is being abused and misused. People in general have problems in describing things associated with Islam.

If a non-Muslim was to torch a synagogue, that person would be called an anti-semitic or nazi. If a white man was to torch a black church, that person would be called a white supremacist. If a Buddhist was to lynch a Rohingya, that person would be called a racist. But if a Muslim was to do either of those, he would be called a terrorist.

And therein lays the problem. The problem of identifying and understanding the real Islam.

Home Minister Shanmugan said that one way to combat islamophobia was for Singaporeans to reach out to Singapore Muslims. I hate to say this but I think he got it backwards. The Muslims would have to reach out to the others to make them understand what true Islam is. And the government and especially the media would have to do their part.

Muslim scholars have all denounced the ideology and actions by the terrorists. They have gone so far as to say that the terrorists are not Muslims.

So for a start, state media should take the lead by removing the word ‘muslim’ from the phrase `muslim terrorists’ when describing those groups. Or not to use the word ISIS because they are not Muslims and they are not a state. Even the Americans have stopped using that term preferring to use the word `daesh’ instead.

As for the Islamic organisations in Singapore, it is time for them to be more proactive in educating Singaporeans about the true Islam so as to remove whatever misunderstandings. In fact, they should do the same to the Muslims too to combat radicalization amongst their cohort.

Islam is a peaceful religion. It is not a disease. It certainly does not need to be made into one by inventing a non-existent medical term associated with its name.